- A long time ago... 好耐好耐以前...
In a galaxy far, far away... 喺一個好遠好遠嘅銀河系...
- What are you talking about? - 你講緊乜嘢呀？
- Well, uh, it's the-- - 呢個呢，就係...
From the beginning of star wars. 《星球大戰》開頭嗰段。
- But this is a show about christmas. - 但呢個係講聖誕節嘅節目嚟㗎喎。
It's not about space. 唔係講太空㗎。
- They have christmas in space. - 太空都有聖誕節㗎。
- ♪ let it snow, let it snow, let it snow ♪ - ♪ 落雪啦，落雪啦，落雪啦 ♪
- Oh! - 噢！
- Whoo! - Whoo! - 嘩！ - 嘩！
- Ooh, that's cold. - Yeah. - 嘩，好凍呀。 - 係呀。
- Oh, why can't they just put the Warehouse in, like, maui? - 點解佢哋唔將個倉庫擺喺茂宜島嗰啲地方呢？
- Really? Because I love winter! - 吓？因為我好鍾意冬天㗎！
I love snowmobiling and snowball fights 我好鍾意玩雪地電單車同打雪仗。
And, ooh, and hot apple cider! 同埋，噢，仲有熱蘋果酒！
- Yeah, that's 'cause you're from, like, the rockies. - 係呀，因為你係嚟自洛磯山脈嗰啲地方㗎嘛。
There's no air up there. Your brain--not normal. 嗰度冇乜空氣㗎。你個腦——唔正常。
- Really? This from a man who giggles at "grand tetons." - 吓？呢句說話出自一個聽到「大提頓」就會咯咯笑嘅人？
- You know what that means in french, don't you? - 你知唔知呢個字喺法文係咩意思㗎？
Oh! 噢！
- [laughs] - [笑]
- [laughs] oh! - [snorts and laughs] - [笑] 噢！ - [噴笑]
Ooh! Ooh, it's down my back! 噢！噢，佢跌咗落我背脊呀！
Oh, who's-- okay, very funny. 噢，邊個——好，好好笑。
Who's the child now? - Ooh! 而家邊個先係細路仔呀？ - 噢！
- There's bombs around here, you know. - 呢度周圍有炸彈㗎，你知唔知㗎。
You could damage my tympanic membrane. 你會整傷我嘅耳膜㗎。
- It had, like, an arc. It wasn't even a-- - 佢有個弧度㗎，根本唔係——
- ♪ sounds of the season, now ring it all in ♪ - ♪ 季節嘅聲音，而家一齊響起 ♪
- Okay, now this is awesome! - 好，呢個真係好正！
- Jingle, jingle! - 叮噹，叮噹！
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - 喂喂喂喂喂。
Mmm! 嗯！
- Marshmallow! Good job! - 棉花糖！做得好！
- Artifacty "swiss-miss-hap." - 古物級嘅「瑞士小姐意外」。
Tasty blizzard in a cup! 好味嘅暴風雪喺杯入面！
- Hey, claude, so what's with the twinkle lights? - 喂，Claude，啲閃燈係做咩㗎？
- God bless us, everyone. - 上帝保佑我哋每一個人。
- And in this corner, weighing in at a hulking 200 pounds, - 而喺呢個角落，體重高達200磅嘅，
Would be Joshua Donovan, hanging the gloves 係Joshua Donovan，佢掛緊
That ali wore against foreman in the rumble in the jungle. Ali喺叢林之戰對Foreman嗰陣戴過嘅拳套。
- Hey, josh. - Hey. - 喂，Josh。 - 喂。
- All right, so what do those do? - 好，咁呢啲有咩用㗎？
- Oh, they make you see stars without hitting you. - 噢，佢哋會令你見到星星，但唔會打你。
- Myka! That's the original mistletoe. - Myka！呢個係原始嘅槲寄生嚟㗎。
Ahem! It is rather strong. 咳！佢都幾勁㗎。
- [kissing sound] tetons. - [錫錫聲] 提頓。
- That has to come down. - 呢個一定要拆落嚟。
- I will get that. - 我會搞掂佢。
- So guys, this is the first time in ever I actually have - 各位，呢次係第一次我真係有
People in my life to spend the holidays with. 人喺我生命中陪我過節。
Figured we'd circle the yule log and eat figgy pudding. 諗住我哋圍住聖誕柴，食無花果布丁。
- Oh. Wow. - It's awkward. - 噢。嘩。 - 好尷尬。
- What? Why? - 做咩？點解呀？
- Pete and I are going home for christmas. - Pete同我要返屋企過聖誕。
- Sorry, claude. - 唔好意思，Claude。
- Aw, well, I guess it's all right. - 噢，算啦，冇所謂啦。
Joshua and I will just hang with Artie claus. Joshua同我會同Artie聖誕老人一齊玩。
- What have you done to my office? - 你對我間辦公室做咗啲咩呀？
- I got you something very special, - 我買咗份好特別嘅嘢俾你，
And I think you're gonna love it. 我諗你一定會好鍾意。
- [groans] why? - [呻吟] 點解呀？
- It's called a present. - [grunts] - 呢個叫做禮物。 - [咕噥]
- You're familiar with presents, right? - 你識得禮物係咩嚟㗎，係咪？
We earthlings exchange them 我哋地球人會交換禮物
As a sign of affection and gratitude. 作為愛同感激嘅表示。
- No, no. Thank you but no thank you. - 唔，唔。多謝但係唔使客氣。
- Artie, it's a gift. Take it. - Artie，係一份禮物嚟㗎。收咗佢啦。
- Yeah, come on, Artie. Ho ho ho. - 係啦，嚟啦，Artie。呵呵呵。
- All right, look, could we just stop all this merriment? - 好，睇嚟，可唔可以停晒呢啲歡樂氣氛？
Come on, some of these are dangerous arti--artif-- 嚟啦，呢度有啲係危險嘅古物——古——
[groans] [呻吟]
This is not the holiday counter at woolworth's! 呢度唔係Woolworth嘅節日櫃檯嚟㗎！
- Oh, my-- [groans] - 噢，我—— [呻吟]
- Uhh! You see what I mean? - 啊！你明唔明我講咩呀？
[thud] [砰]
- Ow. - 哎。
[both laugh] [兩個都笑]
- Take it all down! - 拆晒佢落嚟！
♪
♪ mama claus said santa ♪ 聖誕媽媽話聖誕老人
♪ why do you look so down? ♪ ♪ 點解你咁唔開心？ ♪
♪ christmas is a-comin' ♪ 聖誕節就嚟到
♪ and you just been poutin' around ♪ ♪ 但你成日喺度嘟長個嘴 ♪
- Oh, and dad, I almost forgot to tell you! - 噢，爸爸，我差啲唔記得話俾你知！
Today at school, we had a secret santa, 今日喺學校，我哋玩咗秘密聖誕老人，
And this boy, matthew, he got me a phone case. 有個男仔叫Matthew，佢送咗個手機殼俾我。
He's never even said hi to me, 佢從來都冇同我打過招呼，
But he knew my favorite color, 但佢知道我嘅最愛顏色，
So I might have to give him a second look. 所以我可能要重新考慮吓佢。
- That sounds awesome. - 聽落好正喎。
- [sighs] dad, you're working again. - [嘆氣] 爸爸，你又喺度做緊嘢。
- Oh, um, yeah. Sorry, honey. - 噢，嗯，係呀。唔好意思，寶貝。
- That's rude, you know. - 咁樣好冇禮貌㗎，你知唔知㗎。
- I'm all yours now, okay? - 我而家完全係你㗎啦，好唔好？
- Mom's right, you don't listen when women talk. - 媽咪講得啱，女人講嘢嘅時候你係唔會聽㗎。
- Oh, yikes. When did you turn into a woman? - 噢，嘩。你幾時變成女人㗎？
- Well, I'm almost at the decade mark. - 我差唔多到十年大關啦。
That's a lot of life experience, you know. 呢啲係好多人生經驗嚟㗎，你知唔知㗎。
- Mm-hmm, yes. I guess you're right. - 嗯哼，係。我諗你講得啱。
I'm gonna have to keep up. 我要追得上你先得。
- Hey, why didn't you make the tree trimming? - 喂，點解你冇嚟裝飾聖誕樹㗎？
Mom said you promised. 媽咪話你應承咗㗎。
- Well, sometimes mom makes things up - 有時媽咪會作嘢出嚟
Because she's mad at me, but, I mean, 因為佢嬲我，但係，我意思係，
She knew I couldn't make it this week. 佢知我今個星期冇可能嚟到㗎。
I'm up against all these deadlines 我要應付晒呢啲死線
At the new mall, honey. 喺新商場嗰度，寶貝。
I--I--I'm sorry, kiddo. I'm sorry. 我——我——我好對唔住，小朋友。對唔住。
- It's okay. - 冇所謂啦。
- Now, you tell this boy matthew - 你而家同呢個男仔Matthew講
That your daddy's got a shotgun, okay? 你爸爸有把獵槍㗎，好唔好？
And I will be wanting to meet him soon. 同埋我好快就會想見吓佢。
- Oh, dad, don't you dare! - 噢，爸爸，你唔好亂嚟呀！
- See? I was listening the whole time. - 睇到未？我成個過程都有聽㗎。
I love you, sweetheart. 我愛你，甜心。
- Love you too, dad. - 我都愛你，爸爸。
- Mwah! - 啵！
[muffled thud] [悶響]
[thuds] [砰]
- Somebody there? - 有人喺度？
[thud] [砰]
[bang] [嘭]
[footsteps] [腳步聲]
[shattering glass] [玻璃碎裂聲]
- Hey! - 喂！
What--what--what-- what the hell? 做——做——做——做咩嘢呀？
What are you-- what are you-- 你做——你做——
Aah! [gunshot] 啊！ [槍聲]
Oh, je-- 噢，天——
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 唔好，唔好，唔好，唔好，唔好，唔好，唔好！
[shattering glass] No! Please, stop! [玻璃碎裂聲] 唔好！求吓你，停手！
[dog barking] [狗吠聲]
No, no, no! [porcelain breaking] 唔好，唔好，唔好！ [瓷器碎裂聲]
- Ho ho ho! - 呵呵呵！
[scraping] [刮擦聲]
- Oh, but colorado springs has this great light show. - 噢，但Colorado Springs有個好好嘅燈光騷。
- Ah, north canton has the pro football hall of fame, - 啊，North Canton有職業美式足球名人堂，
The hoover vacuum cleaner. 同埋Hoover吸塵機。
- That's not even-- - Cancel your flights. - 呢個根本唔係—— - 取消你哋嘅航班。
All trips are off. - What? 所有行程取消。 - 吓？
Artie, are you kidding me? - Artie, it's christmas. Artie，你係咪玩嘢呀？ - Artie，而家係聖誕節嚟㗎。
- We've got a case. - [sighs] - 我哋有個案件。 - [嘆氣]
- Well, are you sure that it's one of ours? - 你肯定係我哋嗰啲嚟㗎？
- Well, let's see. Home invasion. - 等我哋睇吓。入屋爆竊。
The victim reported-- reluctantly-- 受害者報告——唔情願咁——
That the intruder, and I quote, 個入侵者，我引述，
"flew around the room in a cloud of light, 「喺一團光雲中飛咗成個房間，
Then disappeared up the chimney." 然後喺煙囪度消失咗。」
And this is the police sketch. 而呢個係警方素描。
- No. - 唔係掛。
- You have got to be kidding. - 你一定係講笑。
[dogs barking to jingle bells] [狗吠聲伴隨《鈴兒響叮噹》]
[joy to the world played on sleigh bells] [雪橇鈴演奏《普世歡騰》]
[Warehouse 13 theme] [《倉庫13》主題曲]
♪
[upbeat music playing] [輕快音樂播放中]
- Poor Artie. - 可憐嘅Artie。
Must be exhausting to be that grouchy 成日咁暴躁一定好攰
Without even time off for the holidays. 連假期都冇得唞。
- You think he was like that as a kid? - 你覺得佢細個嗰陣係咪已經係咁㗎？
- Whoa. I've never actually pictured Artie as a child. - 嘩。我從來冇諗過Artie係細路仔嘅樣。
It's disturbing. - Yeah, it is. 好恐怖。 - 係呀，真係。
- Wait, haven't I ever showed you this? - 等等，我係咪從來冇俾你睇過呢個？
- Oh, my god. Look at that. - 天啊。你睇吓。
He even looks happy. 佢甚至睇落好開心。
Think he came out of the womb with those eyebrows? 你覺得佢一出世就有呢對眼眉毛㗎？
- He once told me that sitting at that piano - 佢曾經同我講過，坐喺嗰部鋼琴前面
Was his favorite place in the entire world. 係佢成個世界最鍾意嘅地方。
- Wait, Artie plays? - Yeah. - 等等，Artie識彈琴㗎？ - 係呀。
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - 噢，係啦係啦係啦。
His dad was a professional musician or something? 佢爸爸係專業音樂人定係點？
- Taught composition at temple. - 喺Temple大學教作曲。
Sent Artie to juilliard. 送Artie去Juilliard讀書。
But when he went to go work for the nsa, 但當佢去咗NSA做嘢之後，
His dad never talked to him again. 佢爸爸就再冇同佢講過嘢。
- So how do we put that face - 咁我哋點樣先可以將嗰個笑容
Back on ol' crabby mcgrumpy pants? 放返落個暴躁佬塊面度呢？
- "gluckklavier?" "gluckklavier." - 「Gluckklavier？」「Gluckklavier。」
- Glue what to what? - 黐乜嘢落乜嘢度呀？
- Oh, it's the make of the piano. - 噢，係鋼琴嘅牌子嚟㗎。
Picked up a little german at cern. 喺CERN學咗少少德文。
Never heard of gluckklavier, though. 不過從來未聽過Gluckklavier。
- Bro, you're a genius! We'll find it. - 兄弟，你係天才嚟㗎！我哋會搵到佢。
- danke. find what? - danke。 搵到乜嘢呀？
- This piano! Artie's favorite place! - 呢部鋼琴呀！Artie最鍾意嘅地方！
- The actual piano? Claudia, how? - 真係嗰部鋼琴？Claudia，點樣搵呀？
- We're in the object finding business. - 我哋係做搵物件呢行㗎嘛。
Artie grew up in philly, right? Artie喺費城大㗎，係咪？
So, we'll start by calling piano tuners. 所以我哋由打電話俾調琴師開始。
Figure out who worked on gloocky-glockenshpielers. 搵出邊個整過呢啲Glooky-Glockenshpieler。
- What are you gonna do? - 你打算點做呀？
Search every piano tuner in philadelphia? 搜晒費城所有調琴師？
- How many can there be? - 會有幾多個啫？
- Well, from the combined 215 and 610 area codes, - 由215同610區號合計，
486. 486個。
- So we'll split 'em up. Come on, guys! - 咁我哋分開打啦。嚟啦，各位！
Worst case scenario, we rack up a mondo phone bill. 最壞情況，我哋會收到張超大電話費單。
But if we succeed, we give Artie 但係如果我哋成功，我哋就送俾Artie
The most awesome present ever! 呢份禮物真係最正！
- ♪ well it's a california christmas ♪ - ♪ 呢個係加州聖誕 ♪
♪ and it's the best time of the year ♪ ♪ 一年最好嘅時候 ♪
- Entry key pad, motion sensors-- - 門口密碼鎖、感應器——
None of it was triggered. 全部都冇觸發到。
- And you say he left through the chimney? - 你話佢係由煙囪走？
- Look, I've already entertained the lapd - 我已經同LAPD講咗成個鐘
For an hour, and they stared at me like I was a nutjob. 佢哋睇我好似睇傻佬咁。
Is there any reason 有冇理由
Why the secret service needs an encore? 特勤局要再嚟一次？
- We wouldn't be here if we thought - 如果我哋覺得你癲，就唔會嚟啦，Newley先生。
You were crazy, mr. Newley. - 唉！咁窄好難爬上去㗎。
- Uhh! It's pretty narrow to climb. 我估聖誕老人，你知啦，成肚都係啫喱——
And I'm guessing santa's, you know, bowl full o' jelly-- - 唔係，佢冇爬上去。佢...
- No, he didn't climb up there. He... 佢係「嗖」一聲。
He whooshed. 仲閃閃發光。
And twinkled. - 嗖一聲同閃閃發光。
- Whooshed and twinkled. 聽落似係有人用緊啲嘢。
That definitely sounds like someone's using something. - 係。 - 絕對唔係。
- Yeah. - Absolutely not. 我可以驗毒，證明俾你睇。
I will take a drug test. I will prove it to you. - 唔係唔係唔係。佢唔係呢個意思。
- No, no, no, no. That's not what he meant. - 信我啦，老友，你算好彩。
- Believe me, guy, you're lucky. 嗖一聲同閃閃發光
A whoosh and a twinkle is a lot better 好過「滋滋」聲同「啪」一聲，
Than a sizzle and a splat, 或者更衰嘅，「滋滋滋」同「卡嚓」！
Or even worse, a zzz-zap and ker-chow! - Pete。
- Pete. - 好啦，Newley先生，你有冇啲仇人？
- Okay, so, mr. Newley, do you have any, uh, enemies? - 我又有錢又成功又瘦。
- Well, I'm rich, I'm successful, I'm thin. 通常呢啲嘢會激嬲人。
That usually pisses somebody off. - 唔係，我係話有動機嘅人。
- No, I meant someone with a motive. 呢度話你準備拆
It says here that you're starting demolition 一個新商場。
On a new shopping mall. 有冇人要被迫遷？
Is there anyone being evicted? - 得啲舊舖頭
- There's just some junky old shops 冇人去㗎。
That nobody ever goes to. 有一個佬好唔忿氣，但係，你知啦，成日都有。
And one guy's pretty cheesed, but, you know, it happens. - 聽落有動機。
- Sounds motivational. - 我哋去搵佢傾。 - 好。
- Let's go talk to him. - Let's. - 嗯。 - 而家？
- Mm-hmm. - Now? - 係。 - 好。
- Yes. - Yeah. - 噢！
- Oh! [放屁聲效]
[flatulence sound effect] [笑聲]
[laughter] - 記住，等佢就坐嗰陣
- Now remember, just slide it under your uncle's butt 先放喺你阿叔屁股下面。
Just before he sits down. 一定好好笑。
It'll be hilarious. 好啦，玩得開心啲。
All right, have fun. 哦，正。呢個係咩？
Oh, great. What's this? 今次帶咗啲靚律師嚟呀，Newley？
You got some fancy lawyers with you this time, newley? - 有人襲擊我屋企。
- Someone attacked my home. Wilkie先生，特勤局。
Mr. Wilkie, secret service. - 哦，我哋咁重要㗎？
- Oh, well, aren't we important? 如果你搵到條友，俾個名我，好唔好？
Look, if you find the guy, send me his name, okay? 我送佢一隻我最正嘅橡膠雞。
I'll send him over one of my best rubber chickens. - 好搞笑。聖誕老人衫嘅其他部分呢？
- Very funny. Where's the rest of the santa suit? - 咩意思，笑我肥？
- What is that, a fat joke? - 兩晚前你喺邊？
- Where were you two nights ago? - 我喺度睇工。
- I was right here, surfing job web sites. 唔知你有冇聽過，我就快冇得撈。
Don't know if you heard, but I'm getting put out of business. - 如果你或者其他人有咩投訴，
- If you or any of the others have any complaints, 請同我辦公室講。
Please just take it up with my office. 我俾嘅錢已經多過呢度嘅價值。
I am giving you way more than this place is worth. - 呢度係我老竇起㗎！
- My father built this place! 收返你啲錢！
Keep your money! 冇人想要另一個商場。
Nobody wants another mall. - Wilkie先生，呢啲舖頭就快絕種。
- Mr. Wilkie, stores like this are going extinct. 趁仲有得賺就賺啦。
Cash in while you can. 新年後，成個地盤就會拆。
Right after new year's, this whole block comes down. [關門聲]
[door slams] - Pete。
- Pete. - 呀差差差差！
- Ah cha chadda cha cha! - Pete，唔好。
- Pete, please don't. - 咩？聖誕襪禮物。
- What? Stocking stuffers. 我細妹好鍾意呢啲嘢。
My kid sister loves these things. - 呢個佬癲嘅。佢賣膠嘔吐物。
- The man's insane. He sells plastic vomit. - 我好鍾意嗰啲嘢。我應該買啲。
- I love that stuff. I should have bought some. - 但係新年後趕佢走？
- But evicting him after new year's? 唔係好有節日氣氛喎。
Not exactly in the holiday spirit. - 我有冇講我哋有俾錢佢？
- Did I mention that we're paying him? 仲有咩比商場更有節日氣氛？
And what has more holiday spirit than a mall? 我啲商場係俾人嚟慶祝聖誕㗎！
I mean, people go to my malls to celebrate christmas! 我哋有聖誕老人村、大聖誕樹。
We have santa's villages, huge trees. 你最後一次去家庭式小店係幾時？
When was the last time you were in a mom and pop store? - 我係喺家庭式小店大㗎。
- I grew up in a mom and pop store. - 好啦，咁你知道我啱啦。
- Okay. You know I'm right, then. 天啊，我以為我啲員工
God, I thought my staff were in 今日至少會忙半日。
For at least half a day today. - Pete，呢個係咩？
- Pete, what is that? - 啱啱發生咗，係咪？
- That just happened, right? - 佢追緊Newley。
- It's going after newley. - [尖叫]
- [screaming] - 呵呵呵呵呵！
- Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! - 呀！呀！
- Aah! Aah! 好，呢件事真係發生緊，係咪？
Okay, this is happening, right? 你見到未？呢件事真係發生緊。
Do you see this? This is happening. - 係。 - 係。
- Yeah. - Yeah. 係！ - 係。
Yes! - Yes. - 噢！ - [喘氣]
- Oh! - [panting] 呀！
Aah! - 我一直睇住你，Larry Noodle，
- I've been watching you, larry noodle, 我好失望！
And I'm very disappointed! 你冇做到佢哋應得嘅男人！
You're not being the man that they deserve! 呢啲唔係重要嘅嘢！
These are not what's important! [嘩啦聲]
[clatter] - 你真係激嬲咗佢。
- You seriously pissed that guy off. - 時間無多！
- Time's running out! 搞好你嘅人生，否則我就攞走佢！
Fix your life, or I'm gonna take it from you! - 再見，Larry Noodle！
- Good-bye, larry noodle! - 呢個就係「嗖」一聲。 - 同閃閃發光。
- That was whooshing. - And twinkling. - 仲有少少「卡嚓」。
- And a little ker-chow. - 天啊。
- Oh, my god. Larry Noodle？
Larry noodle? 自從細個之後就冇人咁叫我。
No one's called me that since I was a kid. - Myka...Myka，係咪有可能
- Myka...Myka, is it-- is it possible 我哋見到真嘅、現實中嘅——
That--that we saw the actual, real life-- - 唔好！唔得！
- Don't! No! - 聖誕老人？
- Santa? - Artie，係咪有可能——
- Artie, is it-- is it possible that-- - 係嘅，Virginia，真係有聖誕老人？
- That yes, virginia, there really is a santa claus? - 佢由煙囪出入！
- The dude enters and exits through chimneys! 佢化成仙塵喺房度飛。
He travels across the room as fairy dust. Artie，呢個係真聖誕老人，好冇？
Look, Artie, this was the real santa, okay? 哦，順便講句，
Oh, and by the way, 要乖啲，因為聖誕老人好惡。
Be nice, because santa is bad-ass. - 四世紀嘅土耳其
- There really was a saint nicholas 真係有個聖尼古拉斯，
In fourth century turkey, 佢出名會放銀幣喺人哋鞋度。
And he was known to have put coins in people's shoes. - 真聖誕老人！正！我知㗎！
- Real santa! Excellent! You know, I knew it! 認真，呢個解釋咗好多嘢。
Seriously, it explains so much. - 你而家喺個腦度
- You're making a christmas list 諗緊聖誕禮物清單，係咪？
In your head right now, aren't you? - 可能啦。
- Maybe. - 佢威脅Newley條命。
- He threatened newley's life. - 呢個佬係有啲乞人憎。
- Well, the guy is a bit of a tool. - Artie，有冇可能有人
- Artie, is it possible that someone maybe 有件神器可以扮成聖誕老人？
Has an artifact that lets them take the form of santa? - 仲有其他聖誕傳說，
- Well, there are other christmas legends, 涉及啲黑暗嘅小精靈。
Um, involving darker, imp-like spirits. 好似Krampus，同埋Black Peter。
Like, that was krampus, and there's also black peter. 仲有更多。我會繼續查。
There are more. I'll keep doing the research. - Artie，Claudia呢？ - 我嘅黑暗小精靈？
- Artie, where's Claudia? - My own dark imp? 係，我估佢又去
Yeah, I suspect she's off 搞另一個節日驚喜。
Plotting another holiday surprise. - 忙到冇時間兌現對個女嘅承諾？
- Too busy making money to keep a promise to your daughter? - 而家唔係好時候，Lila。
- Now is not a good time, lila. - 你話過會裝飾聖誕樹！
- You said that you were gonna decorate the tree! - 我冇講過，好冇？
- I never said that, okay? 同埋，我送咗
And listen, by the way, I sent over 啲好貴嘅古董裝飾過去。
Some incredibly expensive antique ornaments. 你有冇俾佢？
Did you even bother to give them to her? - 同佢老竇喺度係兩回事。
- Not really the same as her dad being here. - 我了解我個女，
- Look, I know my daughter, 佢鍾意呢啲嘢。
And I know that she happens to like things like that. 佢係個老成嘅靈魂。 - 佢愈嚟愈大！
She is an old soul. - And she's getting older! 又過咗一年，Larry。
Another year gone by, larry. 你仲要錯過幾多次？
How many are you gonna miss? [電話嗶聲]
[phone beeps] [掛線聲]
[dial tone] [電話嗶聲]
[phone beeps] - 我冇做過任何承諾。
- I never made any promise. 我忙到死。
I'm buried with work. 總之，唔好意思，
Anyway, if you'll excuse me, 我有兩個會要開。
I, uh-- I have two meetings - 點解佢要講大話？ - 佢係我前妻。
That I have to get to right away. 佢就係咁。 - 可能係佢搞鬼。
- Why would she lie? - Well, she's my ex-wife. - 我有個諗法。
That's what she does. - She could be behind this. Myks，你去訪問前妻。
- I got a thought. 大Lar同我去陪個女，好唔好？
Myks, why don't you go interview the ex? 你點睇？嚟啦。
Big lar and I will spend some q-time with the daughter, huh? - 我—— - 取消你啲會。
What do you say about that, huh? Come on. 出發啦。好。出發啦。
- Well-- - Cancel your meetings. - 我——
Here we go. All right. Here we go. - 嚟啦，我聽聞費城呢個時候好靚。
- I-- - 結果，打咗486個鋼琴調音師，
- Come on, I hear philadelphia is beautiful this time of year. 發現三個人分好難，
- So, as it turns out, calling 486 piano tuners, 因為得一個人識讀Glucky...
Turns out it's harder to split three ways Globben-killer...
When only one of you can pronounce glucky, uh... - Gluckklavier。 - 係。
Globben-killer... 總之，我哋差啲放棄成個計劃，
- Gluckklavier. - Yes. 點知有個人話呢個Gluck嘢
Anyway, so we were about to ditch the whole plan 用嘅調音釘得德國一間公司造，
When one of them says that this gluckenthing 所以我個半德國話嘅兄弟
Uses special tuning pins that are only made 打電話去，佢哋縮窄範圍
By this one company in germany, 到費城幾個真係會買嘅調音師，
So my kinda-german-speaking brother 然後我就嚟咗呢度。
Gets them on the horn, they narrow the list down - 我唔明一部舊鋼琴
To the couple of piano tuners in philly 喺角落積塵有咩特別。
Who actually buy them, and here I am. 入面有寶藏？
- I can't imagine what's so special - 應該冇。
About an old piano gathering dust in a corner. 但更奇怪嘅事...
Is there hidden treasure inside? 睇吓。
- Doubtful. 哈！真係聖誕老嘢，Marley！
But stranger things... - 係Marla。 - 啱。唔好意思。
Let's see. 嘩，呢個係Artie嘅——
Ha! Holy bah-humbug, Marley! 係我老細嘅縮寫。
- It's marla. - Right. I'm so sorry. 真係冇諗到就係呢個。
Um, it's--wow. This is just Artie's-- 你想賣幾多？求吓你話唔貴。
It's my boss' initials.
I can't believe this is really it.
How much do you want for it? Please say not much.
- Let me get mr. Weisfelt. He owns it, not the school. 等我搵Weisfelt先生。佢係業主，唔係學校嘅。
- Unbelievable. Bro, I found it. Yeah. 難以置信。兄弟，我搵到啦。係呀。
Merion music school. Get your butt over here. Merion音樂學校。你快啲過嚟。
Weisfelt? Weisfelt？
- You want to buy this piano? Why? - 你想買呢部鋼琴？點解？
- Claude? Are you still there? - Claude？你仲喺度嗎？
- Hmm? I--do you hear me? - 嗯？我——你聽到我講嘢嗎？
Do you wanna buy this piano? Why? 你想買呢部鋼琴？點解？
- [clears throat] - [清喉嚨]
You're Artie's father. 你係Artie嘅老竇。
- What? Oh. I forgot I had these in. - 咩話？哦。我唔記得咗我戴住呢啲嘢。
Hearing the little bastards bang out moonlight sonata-- 聽到班衰仔亂咁彈《月光奏鳴曲》——
No wonder beethoven went deaf. 難怪貝多芬會聾。
- Best christmas present ever. - 最好嘅聖誕禮物。
- I--I love fruitcake. - 我——我鍾意食水果蛋糕。
- Here you go, daddy. - 俾你， daddy。
- Thanks, honey. - 多謝，親愛嘅。
- Man, this looks... - 嘩，呢個睇落...
[tooth cracks] [牙齒裂開聲]
Ow. 哎呀。
I mean... 我意思係...
[british accent] 'ow delicious is this, lassie? [英國口音] 呢個有幾好食呀，小姐？
[laughs] I love it, it's-- [笑] 我好鍾意，佢係——
- Dude, it's not like I baked it. - 老友，又唔係我焗嘅。
- Oh, thank god. - 哦，謝天謝地。
- [laughs] - [笑]
- Oh, my god. We have the exact same ornament at my house. - 天啊。我屋企都有個一模一樣嘅裝飾。
Christmas is a pretty big deal there too. 聖誕節喺嗰邊都好大件事。
- Kallie loves the old-fashioned ornaments. - Kallie鍾意舊式裝飾。
She and her father used to scour the swap meets. 佢同佢老竇以前成日去跳蚤市場搵。
Back when larry didn't work every weekend. 以前Larry唔使每個週末都做嘢。
- Do you any idea who might be threatening him? - 你知唔知邊個可能威脅佢？
I don't know-- maybe a new man in your life 我唔知——可能係你新嘅男人
Who thinks he might be doing you a favor? 覺得咁做係幫緊你？
- There's no one new. - 冇新人。
- Have ever heard anyone - 你有冇聽過有人
Refer to your ex-husband as "larry noodle"? 叫你前夫做「Larry Noodle」？
- [laughs] wow. Larry noodle? - [笑] 嘩。Larry Noodle？
I haven't heard that since he was a teenager. 我由佢十幾歲之後就冇聽過呢個名。
He hated that nickname. 佢好憎呢個花名。
- So you guys have known each other for a really long time. - 所以你哋識咗好耐。
- High school. - Wow. - 中學。 - 嘩。
- Yeah. God, we were so happy when we had nothing. - 係呀。天啊，我哋乜都冇嗰陣好開心。
And then, the more successful he became, 然後，佢越成功，
The more that that was the only thing that mattered. 就越得呢樣嘢重要。
Larry noodle. I miss him. Larry Noodle。我好掛住佢。
He was sweet. 佢以前好溫柔。
- No! Oh, no! Forget it! - 唔好！哦，唔好！算啦！
No, no, no! Excuse me. 唔好，唔好，唔好！唔該借借。
- Artie's father. - I can see it. - Artie嘅老竇。 - 我睇得出。
- You have to come with me! He's your son! - 你要跟我嚟！佢係你個仔！
- My son! He disappeared! - 我個仔！佢失蹤咗！
For years! Who does that? 成幾年！邊個會咁做？
- Eh, it happens more often than you think. - 唉，呢啲嘢成日發生㗎。
- Who the hell are you? - He had to change his name! - 你邊位？ - 佢要改個名！
Do you know he did that to protect you? 你知唔知佢咁做係為咗保護你？
- Yeah? From what? - 係咩？保護我乜嘢？
Oh, never mind, I don't wanna know! 哦，算啦，我唔想知！
- He'll explain it to you. There's your ice-breaker! - 佢會同你解釋。呢個就係你嘅開場白！
- My ice-breaker? How about I break his neck, huh? - 我嘅開場白？不如我打斷佢條頸，好唔好？
He wanted me to believe he's dead, so he's dead! 佢想我相信佢死咗，所以佢就係死咗！
- Not yet, but soon! - 未死，但就快！
He's dying. 佢就死㗎啦。
That's right. Artie's dying. 冇錯。Artie就快死。
I came here to beg you to see him, to say good-bye. 我嚟係求你去見佢，同佢道別。
To your son. Who's dying. 見你個仔。佢就快死。
- Claudia, you sure you should be telling him that? - Claudia，你確定應該同佢講呢啲？
- Artie's dad deserves the truth. - Artie嘅老竇值得知道真相。
- Yeah, I agree. He does. - 係，我同意。佢值得。
But Artie might be a little angry-- 但Artie可能會嬲——
- If I tell him everything? - 如果我話晒俾佢知？
- You mean there's more? - Oh, yes. - 你意思係仲有嘢？ - 哦，係呀。
That Artie's too ashamed to call you himself. Artie唔好意思自己打俾你。
That he's gonna take that guilt to his grave. 佢會帶住呢份內疚入棺材。
- Yeah, but--but he's-- - After he dies. - 係，但——但佢—— - 佢死咗之後。
- All right. All right, you wait here. - 好。好，你喺度等。
And I'll come with you. 我同你過去。
- You are going to hell. - I know! - 你落地獄㗎。 - 我知！
- Kallie said you'd be out here. - Kallie話你會喺出面。
You just can't help yourself, can you? 你忍唔住㗎，係咪？
- I'm sorry, but I have contracts - 對唔住，但我有合約
That I have to close today, 今日要簽，
Or else the whole deal falls through. 如果唔係成單嘢就會告吹。
I don't know about secret agents, 我唔知特工係點做，
But I can't just drop everything if I feel like it. 但我唔可以話放低就放低晒啲嘢。
- Oh, no, I can relate. - 哦，唔緊要，我明。
I'm stuck here trying to save your ungrateful butt. 我困喺度諗辦法救你個唔識感恩嘅死仔。
- You think I worked this hard for myself? - 你以為我咁辛苦係為咗自己？
I want her to have what I didn't have. This is all for her. 我想佢擁有我冇嘅嘢。呢啲全部都係為咗佢。
This is so kallie gets everything she wants. 咁樣Kallie先可以得到佢想要嘅一切。
- Right. - 係囉。
[whooshing] [風聲]
- Oh, god, no. Please, not again! - 哦，天啊，唔好。求吓你，唔好再嚟！
[gasps] [吸氣聲]
- I'm giving you every chance, larry! - 我俾緊你機會，Larry！
Every chance to make things right! 每個機會去修正！
- Okay, look, - 好，你聽住，
I don't know who the hell you think you are but-- 我唔知你以為自己係邊個但——
Oh, my--aah! Aah! 哦，我——呀！呀！
What is happening here? 呢度發生緊咩事？
- Check on kallie and stay inside. - 睇住Kallie，留喺室內。
- Oh, my god. - 天啊。
- That happen a lot? - 成日都係咁？
- Change your ways by midnight, - 午夜前改過，
Or I'll turn you into the ghost of christmas past! 否則我會將你變成過去聖誕嘅鬼魂！
[electrical buzz] [電流聲]
- Okay, I'm officially scared now. - 好，我而家正式驚咗。
Can you just please--what was the thing with my hand? 你可唔可以——我隻手係咩事？
- Pete, this isn't santa. - Pete，呢個唔係聖誕老人。
- It's you. - Me? - 係你。 - 我？
- Ho ho ho! - 呵呵呵！
[maniacal laughter] [狂笑]
Tick-tock, larry noodle! Tick-tock! 倒數緊㗎，Larry Noodle！倒數緊！
- [gasps] - [吸氣聲]
- Larry noodle disappears tonight! - Larry Noodle今晚消失！
Aah! 呀！
♪
- ♪ it's beginning to look a lot like christmas ♪ - ♪ 開始似聖誕節 ♪
♪ everywhere you go ♪ 你去邊度都係
♪ take a look in the five and ten ♪ ♪ 睇吓五毫同十毫店 ♪
♪ glistening once again ♪ 再次閃閃發光
♪ with candy canes and silver lanes aglow ♪ ♪ 有拐杖糖同銀色街道發光 ♪
♪
- All doors, vents, and windows sealed. - 所有門、通風口同窗都封好。
No fairy-dust getting in. 冇仙塵入到嚟。
You think this'll keep him out? 你覺得咁樣擋得住佢？
- You're asking me how santa claus works? - 你問我聖誕老人點運作？
- Hey, I was wrong, Artie. This isn't santa claus. - 喂，我錯咗，Artie。呢個唔係聖誕老人。
Santa's nice. This is...Larry claus. 聖誕老人係好人。呢個係...Larry老人。
- No wonder he knows everything about you. - 難怪佢知道你所有嘢。
He is you. 佢就係你。
- What does that even mean? - 呢句係咩意思？
- Artie, the last time he appeared, - Artie，上次佢出現，
Our guy faded, but just for a second. 我哋嗰個人消失咗一陣。
- That's not good. - Oh, you think? - 咁唔好。 - 哦，你話呢？
- A duplicate shows up and the original starts to fade? - 分身出現，原本嗰個開始消失？
It sounds to me like you're dealing 聽落似你遇到
With some kind of identity transference. 某種身份轉移。
And eventually, your guy might just-- 最後，你嗰個人可能會——
- What? Disappear completely? - 咩？完全消失？
- Okay, please slow down, okay? - 好，請講慢啲，好嗎？
Just who the hell are you people, huh? 你哋究竟係邊個？
- We're people who deal with this sort of thing. - 我哋係處理呢類嘢嘅人。
- And what sort of thing is this? - 呢類係咩嘢？
- Look, larry noodle, you either start to trust us, - 聽住，Larry Noodle，你要唔開始信我哋，
Or christmas eve comes and goes, and you go with it. 唔係聖誕夜過咗，你都會跟住消失。
- All right, listen, listen. - 好，聽住，聽住。
Just keep him sealed up till after midnight. 封住佢直到午夜後。
- Got it. Kirk out. - 收到。Kirk收線。
- [sighs] - [嘆氣]
Oh! Where have you been? 哦！你去咗邊？
- Oh. You missed me! - 哦。你掛住我！
- I was worried. - Same thing. - 我擔心你。 - 一樣啫。
- No, it's not. There'd be paperwork. - 唔同。會有文件要搞。
- I have a surprise for you. - Oh, I knew it! - 我有個驚喜俾你。 - 哦，我知啦！
Why can't you and your christmas gremlins 點解你同你啲聖誕小魔怪
Leave me alone? 唔放過我？
- Come on! - 嚟啦！
- Dad? - 老竇？
- I thought you'd be thinner. - 我以為你會瘦啲。
- Would you, um, give us a minute? - 你可唔可以，嗯，俾我哋傾一陣？
- Well, it's been 30 years. What's another minute? - 唉，都30年啦。唔爭在呢一分鐘。
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! - 哎呀，哎呀，哎呀，哎呀，哎呀！
Ow! You're pinching! Ow! 哎呀！你掐到我！哎呀！
- What have you done? And what gives you the right? - 你做咗啲咩？你憑咩？
- I thought you wanted to see him. - 我以為你想見佢。
You wrote him that song. 你寫咗首歌俾佢。
- Song--noct-- the piano nocturne? - 首歌——夜曲——鋼琴夜曲？
I would have contacted him in my own time! 我會自己搵時間聯絡佢！
- He's even older than you are. - 佢仲老過你。
How much time you think you have? 你覺得你仲有幾多時間？
- You know what you're gonna do-- - 你知你要做咩——
You're gonna undo whatever it is you did. 你要取消你做嘅嘢。
- Artie, he's dying. - Holy mother of god. - Artie，佢就快死。 - 聖母瑪利亞。
- Joshua knows too. - Joshua都知。
He's--he's dying, and he wants to make things right. 佢——佢就快死，佢想彌補。
He doesn't wanna take this guilt to his grave, 佢唔想帶住呢份內疚入棺材，
That he pushed you away. 話佢推開咗你。
Go in there and talk to him. 入去同佢傾吓。
[piano notes ring] [鋼琴聲響起]
- Dad? - 老竇？
It's--it's good to see you. 好——好開心見到你。
- We--we brought "glucky." - 我——我哋帶咗「Glucky」嚟。
- I-I see. Thank--thanks. - 我——我見到。多——多謝。
- Heh. You little pisher. - 嘿。你個衰仔。
Ah! 呀！
- ♪ christmas time is here again thank heaven ♪ - ♪ 聖誕節又到啦謝天謝地 ♪
♪ time for fa-la-las and deck the halls ♪ ♪ 係時候唱fa-la-la同掛聖誕裝飾 ♪
- California christmas. Yech. - 加州聖誕。唉。
- And then there's this guy. - 然後仲有呢條友。
You know, I think about my dad. 你知嗎，我諗起我老竇。
If he'd had the chance, he'd have been there 如果佢有機會，佢會喺度
For every birthday, every christmas, 每個生日，每個聖誕，
Every morning I woke up. 每個我起身嘅朝早。
This guy, he has no idea what he has. 呢條友，佢唔知自己擁有啲咩。
- My dad was a lot like him. - 我老竇同佢好似。
He was busy. Never home. 佢好忙。成日唔喺屋企。
Funny thing is, now that we have a good relationship, 好笑嘅係，而家我哋關係好咗，
I'm the one that's too busy. 反而係我太忙。
- cat's in the cradle, huh? - 貓仔同老竇嘅故事，係咪？
[knock on door] [敲門聲]
- Hey, how are you doing? - 喂，你點呀？
- Hi. - Is he here? Where is he? - 嗨。 - 佢喺度嗎？佢喺邊？
- What--what-- what are you doing here? - 你...你...你做咩嚟呢度？
- You called me! - 你叫我嚟㗎！
Who knew you had a sense of humor? 邊個知你咁有幽默感？
- Newley, get back in the safe room. - Newley，返去安全房。
- What--what are you--? - I got the letter. - 你...你做咩...？ - 我收到封信。
You called off the demolition. 你取消咗拆卸工程。
I came as soon as I could. - I did what? 我一收到就即刻趕嚟。 - 我做咗咩？
What letter? This is--oh, my god. 咩信？呢個係...天啊。
That is my signature. He's signing my name now. 係我簽名。佢而家冒簽我個名。
- What are you talking about? Who's signing your name? - 你講緊咩呀？邊個冒簽你個名？
What, are you trying to back off on this? 做咩，你想縮沙呀？
- No, I'm not trying to back out of anything. - 唔係，我冇諗住縮沙。
I mean, well, yes, I am trying to back out. 不過，係，我係想縮沙。
This is a forgery. I never sent this letter. 呢個係偽造㗎。我從來冇寄過呢封信。
Okay, wilkie? It's time for you to go home now, please. 好喇，Wilkie？你係時候返屋企喇，唔該。
Okay, now, you better just go home 好，你最好快啲返屋企
Before things just get really-- 費事搞到好...
- Newley, look out! - Newley，小心！
- Ho ho ho! - 呵呵呵！
- What the hell was that? - 咩嚟㗎？
- That was-- - Twinkle and whoosh. - 係... - 閃光同呼一聲。
- And kidnapping. - 同綁架。
- Help me! - 救命呀！
- He'd come down the stairs. - 佢由樓梯落嚟。
- What about-- what about cousin sylvia? - 咁...咁Sylvia表姐呢？
- Even she found a man. - 連佢都搵到個男人。
- No! - Yeah. - 唔係！ - 係。
- With that voice? - 把聲咁都得？
- Oh, he can't hear anything over middle c, - 哦，佢聽唔到中音C以上嘅聲，
So I guess it works. 所以應該冇問題。
[laughter] [笑聲]
- Oh, my god. - Yeah. - 天啊。 - 係呀。
- Well, a lid for every pot, huh? - 一個煲一個蓋，係咪？
Dad... 老竇...
I'm really sorry that we lost so much time. 我好對唔住，我哋浪費咗咁多時間。
- I know. It's a shame. - 我知。真係可惜。
And now, with so little left. 而家，剩返咁少時間。
- I know. Life, huh? - 我明。人生就係咁㗎啦？
- God's mysterious ways. - Yeah. - 天主嘅安排真係奧妙。 - 係呀。
- You know, I never heard. - 你知嘛，我一直冇問。
What is it? - What is what? 係咩病？ - 咩病？
- The annoying girl, I never asked her - 個煩人女仔，我一直冇問佢
What you're dying of. 你到底係死於咩病。
- Me? She told me that you were dying. - 我？佢話我知你就嚟死㗎喎。
- Hey! You know what I'd like to hear? - 喂！你知我想聽咩？
The two of you play piano together. 你兩個一齊彈鋼琴。
Huh? Artie? Izzy? 係咪？Artie？Izzy？
How much fun would that be? 咁會幾開心呢？
- You're not dying? - 你冇事？
- Well, don't sound so disappointed. - 喂，唔好咁失望啦。
- You disappeared from the face of the earth! - 你喺地球消失咗呀！
- After you disowned me! - 係你唔認我㗎先！
- You spit on us! - 你吐我哋口水！
Your mother and me, we worked two jobs 你阿媽同我，打兩份工
To send you to juilliard, 送你去Juilliard讀書，
And you threw it all away to work for what? 你竟然為咗咩放棄晒？
Those fascists! 嗰班法西斯！
- It's the u.S. Government I work for! - 我係為美國政府做嘢㗎！
They're not fascists! 佢哋唔係法西斯！
- Oh, no? - No! - 哦，係咩？ - 唔係！
- Ever hear of mccarthy? - Oh, please. - 有冇聽過McCarthy？ - 哦，得啦。
- I couldn't work for years - 我好多年冇工開
Because I had family in, what, russia? 因為我有親戚喺...俄羅斯？
- Don't tell me about the family in russia, dad. - 唔好同我講俄羅斯嘅親戚，老竇。
I know all about the family in russia. 我全部都知道。
- You never had the sense of a dog in the street! - 你連街邊嘅狗都唔如！
- Oh, is that right? - Boys, boys, boys! - 哦，係咩？ - 仔呀，仔呀，仔呀！
Can--can we just-- 可唔可以...
- Haven't you caused enough trouble? - 你搞出嘅麻煩仲唔夠多咩？
- This is none of your business, girlie! - 唔關你事呀，女仔！
- Don't point your guns at me. - 唔好指住我。
I'm just trying to make your lives better! 我只係想令你哋生活好啲！
- Who asked you to? You lied to me! - 邊個叫你咁做？你呃我！
- How could you say that we're dying? - 你點可以話我哋就嚟死？
- Aren't we all dying, really? - 我哋邊個唔係就嚟死呢？
- Shame on you! You're a liar! - 你真係可恥！你係大話精！
- She has no respect at all! None, none! - 佢完全冇尊重！冇，冇！
- A devil child. - 魔鬼細路。
- You don't know the half of it. - 你仲未見過佢嘅真面目。
She never, never, never does as she's told. 佢從來都唔聽人講。
- No manners at all! - 完全冇禮貌！
You know who she reminds me of? 你知佢似邊個？
- Who? - Trudie. - 邊個？ - Trudie。
- Exactly like trudie. The same--same girl. - 同Trudie一模一樣。同一個女仔。
She always puts her nose 佢成日多管閒事
Into everybody else's business. 理人哋嘅事。
- Yeah, she thinks she knows everything, huh? - 係呀，佢以為自己乜都識，係咪？
- And that mouth on her. Yap-yap-yap-yap. - 仲有把口，講講講講講。
- Yeah, yap-yap-yap-yap-yap. - 係呀，講講講講講。
- God! - She not yours, is she? - 天呀！ - 佢唔係你嘅女，係咪？
- No! God, no! No, no, no. - 唔係！天呀，唔係！唔係，唔係，唔係。
She wasn't even born of man. 佢連人都唔係生出嚟㗎。
She noodged her way into existence! 佢係自己鑽出嚟㗎！
- [laughs] that's very good. - [笑] 講得幾好。
Noodged! 鑽出嚟！
[laughter] [笑聲]
- You know, she reminds me of trudie. - 你知嘛，佢令我想起Trudie。
- That's what I said. - Yeah. - 我咪就係咁講。 - 係呀。
Do you remember trudie's wedding? 你記唔記得Trudie嘅婚禮？
- Remember? I'm still hungry! - 記得？我仲肚餓緊呀！
- [laughs] - [笑]
- Okay, so larry santa - 好喇，Larry Santa
Took larry noodle up to the sky. 帶咗Larry Noodle上天。
- Yeah, he said until midnight, - 係呀，佢話到午夜，
So we have a-- have a few hours. 所以我哋仲有幾個鐘。
- Right. So larry noodle's still alive, - 啱。即係Larry Noodle仲未死，
If we can find him. 如果我哋搵到佢。
- What are you doing? - 你做緊咩？
- Well, he's not gonna finish it. - 佢又唔會食晒。
- You will eat anything, won't you? - 你真係乜都食得落，係咪？
Okay. So where would his santa double take him? 好。咁佢個Santa替身會帶佢去邊？
I mean, some kind of hideout? 我意思係，某個藏身點？
- [snaps fingers] the north pole. - [彈指] 北極。
- We hope not. - 希望唔係。
All right, and santa newley came out of newley. 好，Santa Newley由Newley度出嚟。
Then where would the real newley consider home? 咁真正嘅Newley會當邊度係屋企？
- Lila's? Uh, lila and kallie. - Lila度？Lila同Kallie。
- And kallie collects ornaments. - 而Kallie鍾意收集裝飾品。
- Okay, so what are you thinking? - 好，你諗緊咩？
- I think I've seen the artifact. - 我諗我見過呢件文物。
- My dad got that for me. - 我老竇送俾我㗎。
He knows I like antiques. 佢知我鍾意古董。
- I think he ordered them from germany or someplace. - 我諗佢係由德國定邊度訂返嚟。
- This picture of your ex-husband. - 呢張係你前夫嘅相。
- Yeah, larry used to dress up for the neighborhood kids - 係呀，Larry以前會著到聖誕老人咁
As santa. 俾隔籬啲細路睇。
Kallie loved it. Kallie好鍾意。
They both did. 佢兩個都鍾意。
- Myka, can I see that for a sec? - Myka，可唔可以俾我睇下？
- Sure. - 當然可以。
- You know, these are old shell casings. - 你知嘛，呢啲係舊子彈殼。
- Mm-hmm. - 嗯。
- Yeah, well, uh... - 係呀，嗯...
I might know what this is. 我可能知呢個係咩。
Have you guys ever heard of the christmas ceasefire? 你哋有冇聽過聖誕休戰？
- You mean, during world war I? - 你係指第一次世界大戰嗰次？
- exactement! - 啱晒！
All right, well, when I was in the marine corps, 好喇，我喺海軍陸戰隊嗰陣，
I had a drill instructor. 有個教官。
He loved telling this story. 佢好鍾意講呢個故仔。
[clears throat] [清喉嚨]
It was christmas eve, 1914. 係1914年嘅聖誕前夕。
I'm not talking, like, l.A. Christmas. 我唔係講洛杉磯嗰種聖誕。
I'm talking, like, belgian christmas. 我係講比利時嗰種聖誕。
I'm talking, like, icicles hanging off your nose 我係講冰柱掛喺鼻哥
And snow down your pants. 同雪落喺褲浪嗰種。
And even though there was no formal truce, 雖然冇正式嘅停戰協議，
The german soldiers, 但啲德國士兵，
They started lighting candles in the trenches 開始喺戰壕點蠟燭
And singing christmas carols. 同唱聖誕歌。
And then, in the distance, 然後，遠處，
The british soldiers joined in. 啲英國士兵加入一齊唱。
All of a sudden, these sworn enemies, 突然之間，呢班死對頭，
Who were only seconds before fighting one other, 幾秒前仲打緊交，
Were meeting in no-man's land between the trenches. 竟然喺戰壕之間嘅無人地帶相遇。
Exchanging gifts, 交換禮物，
Candy, souvenirs, 糖果、紀念品，
And lots of improvised stuff. 同好多即興整嘅嘢。
- If there was ever a moment - 如果有個時刻
That could infuse an object 可以注入力量
And turn it into an artifact-- 令一件物件變成文物...
- This would be one. - 呢個就係其中一個。
So what do we do? Goo it and see what happens? 咁我哋點做？用Goo試下睇會點？
- Not without eyes on newley. - 唔得，要睇住Newley先。
We wouldn't know which one survived. 我哋唔知邊個會生存落嚟。
Kallie, why this picture? Kallie，點解係呢張相？
- Well, I love that picture. - 我鍾意呢張相。
Dad was so much fun when he was santa. 老竇扮聖誕老人嗰陣好開心。
- So I guess you were wishing for things - 所以我估你係希望
To be like they were when your dad was santa. 可以返番去老竇扮聖誕老人嗰陣。
- Mm, yeah, I guess. - It's okay. - 嗯，係呀，大概係。 - 冇問題㗎。
I used to make a lot of wishes like that 我以前都成日咁樣許願
When I was your age too. 同你咁大嗰陣。
- That was the last christmas we spent all together. - 係我哋最後一次一齊過嘅聖誕。
Before you guys, you know... 喺你哋...你知㗎...
- It was the year before he opened his first mall - 係佢開第一間商場之前一年
And his business really took off. 佢嘅生意開始起飛。
- "what has more holiday spirit than a mall?" - 「仲有咩比商場更有節日氣氛？」
That's what he said. 佢咁講㗎。
- That's where santa newley might consider home. - 咁Santa Newley可能會當嗰度係屋企。
We have to get to that mall. 我哋要去嗰個商場。
- Okay, guys. Don't worry. - 好喇，各位。唔使擔心。
We'll call you in a little bit. 我哋一陣打俾你。
We're gonna take the, uh-- we're--the--this. 我哋會揸...我哋...呢個。
We're taking this with us. - Okay. Bye. 我哋帶呢個去。 - 好。拜拜。
- And just a cookie. - 仲有塊曲奇。
Cookie! Okay. All right, bye. 曲奇！好。好喇，拜拜。
[electrical buzz] [電流聲]
- Aah! - 呀！
Aah! 呀！
- Look, larry, your shopping mall! - 睇下，Larry，你個商場！
- Thanks. What do you want with me? - 多謝。你想對我點？
- I've given you lots of chances - 我俾咗你好多次機會
To be a better larry, larry. 做個好啲嘅Larry，Larry。
And you've blown every one. 但你每次都搞砸。
I'm the man they need, not you! 佢哋需要嘅係我，唔係你！
You never keep my promises! 你從來都冇遵守過我嘅承諾！
[laughs] [笑]
- You--you promised that I'd help trim the tree. - 你...你應承過我會幫手裝飾聖誕樹㗎。
- Would that have been so hard? - 咁樣好難做咩？
- And you sent that letter to wilkie. - 仲有你寄咗封信俾Wilkie。
- So you could do the right thing. - 等你可以做返件啱嘅事。
But you never do! 但你從來都唔做！
People deserve better from you, larry. 啲人值得你做得更好㗎，Larry。
Kallie deserves a father who is there. Kallie值得有一個喺身邊嘅爸爸。
Now she's going to get one. 而家佢就會有喇。
- Aah! - 呀！
What are you doing with-- what is this? 你做緊咩...呢個係咩嚟㗎？
- In a few minutes, you will be gone - 再過幾分鐘，你就會消失
And then I'll be real. 然後我就會變成真嘅。
- No! No! - 唔好！唔好！
- [laughs] - [笑]
Good-bye, larry noodle! Good-bye! 再見啦，Larry Noodle！再見！
[laughs] [笑]
- You gotta admit, the guy's got christmas spirit. - 你要認同，呢條友真係有聖誕精神。
- Come on. - 嚟啦。
- Help! He's making me disappear! - 救命！佢想令我消失！
- Okay, so we know the tesla won't work. - 好，咁我哋知道個Tesla冇用。
- The last time newley faded, - 上次Newley消失嗰陣，
I touched his arm and he came back. 我掂咗佢隻手，佢就返咗嚟。
- So human contact stops the process. - 即係人類接觸可以停止個過程。
You--you grab newley. I'll bag the ornament. 你...你捉住Newley。我去攞個裝飾品。
- Okay. - 好。
- Oh, look, santa's little army. - 哦，睇下，聖誕老人嘅小軍隊。
Aren't they cute? 係咪好得意呢？
[groans] [呻吟]
Right. Nutcracker. 啱喇。胡桃夾子。
[thud] [砰]
- Pete? Pete! Okay, wait! - Pete？Pete！好，等陣！
[gunshot] [槍聲]
[shattering glass] [玻璃碎裂]
[cocks rifle] [上膛]
- Okay, hold your fire. - 好，停火。
Newley, brace yourself. Newley，準備好。
[electric buzz] [電流聲]
- Gaah! - 嘎！
- [laughs] - [笑]
- Nothing. - 冇料到。
- What was that? - 頭先係咩嚟㗎？
- That was plan "a" not working. - 係A計劃失敗咗。
[groans] [呻吟]
- That was the ornament you sent kallie. - 嗰個就係你送俾Kallie嘅裝飾品。
She wished this--this santa into being. 佢許願令呢個...呢個聖誕老人變成真嘅。
- Kallie wished for me to replace him. - Kallie許願要我取代佢。
- No, no, she wished for the dad that she knew - 唔係，唔係，佢係想要返佢認識嗰個爸爸
Before you became all about work and money. 喺你變到成日掛住做嘢同錢之前。
- I did it for her! She doesn't understand! - 我係為咗佢先咁做㗎！佢唔明㗎！
- She's just a little girl! - 佢只係個細路女咋！
All she knows is that you are not there. 佢淨係知道你唔喺佢身邊。
- There just isn't enough time. - 真係唔夠時間。
- Well, you should have made the time! - 哼，你應該自己抽時間出嚟！
The world will be a better place with me 呢個世界有我喺度會更好
Instead of you, larry! 好過有你，Larry！
Kallie will have a better father! Kallie會有一個更好嘅爸爸！
- No! - 唔好！
- Leave my dad alone! - 唔准搞我爸爸！
- Kallie! - Kallie！
- How did she do that? - 佢點做到㗎？
- She's a kid. It's christmas. - 佢係細路女。而家係聖誕節。
- He'll never change, kallie. - 佢永遠都唔會變㗎，Kallie。
He'll never make the time for you. 佢永遠都唔會為你抽時間。
- I don't care! - 我唔理！
I want him no matter how he is! 我就要佢，無論佢係點！
Even if he never comes over! 就算佢永遠都唔過嚟！
Don't you hurt him! 你唔准傷害佢！
- Please, you've got to give me one more chance. - 求吓你，你要俾多次機會我。
Please! - Stop it! 求吓你！ - 停手！
This is my fault! - Oh, kallie, honey. 呢個係我嘅錯！ - 哦，Kallie，乖女。
It's not your fault. I did this. 唔係你嘅錯。係我搞成咁。
I did this to myself. To us. 係我自己搞成咁。搞到我哋。
It's my fault! 係我嘅錯！
I never meant this to happen. 我從來冇諗過會搞成咁。
It's just that I-- 只係我...
Aw, hell, what good is money if I'm never there, huh? 唉，算啦，如果我成日都唔喺度，咁有錢有咩用，係咪？
You keep growing up, 你一路大個，
And if I'm not part of your life, 如果我唔係你生活嘅一部分，
If I'm just the guy who pays the bills, 如果我淨係個交水電費嘅人，
Who jokes with you online, 同你喺網上講吓笑話，
Then I might as well just f-f-fade away. 咁我不如就...就...消失算啦。
I don't want to fade away. 我唔想消失。
I want to be there for you. 我想陪住你。
I want to be the dad you remember. 我想做返你記得嗰個爸爸。
More than anything. 最想做到嘅事。
- Now, kallie! Your dad needs a hug! - 而家啦，Kallie！你爸爸需要一個擁抱！
- Daddy! - [groans] - 爸爸！ - [呻吟]
- Daddy! - 爸爸！
- ♪ I don't want a lot for christmas ♪ - ♪ 我聖誕唔想要好多嘢 ♪
♪ there is just one thing I need ♪ ♪ 我淨係需要一樣嘢 ♪
♪ all I want for christmas ♪ ♪ 我聖誕最想要嘅 ♪
- Oh, sweetie. - 哦，乖女。
- ♪ is - ♪ 就係
♪ you ♪ 你
- Come on, Myka! - 快啲啦，Myka！
What'd ya get me, what'd ya get me, what'd ya get me? 你買咗咩俾我，買咗咩俾我，買咗咩俾我？
- No, no, and no. - 唔係，唔係，同埋唔係。
We are not opening our gifts until after dinner! 我哋食完晚餐先拆禮物！
- But I told you what I got you! - 但我話咗俾你知我買咗咩俾你！
- I know. Why would you do that? - 我知。你做咩要咁做？
- Do you like it? Do you like it? Do you like it? - 你鍾唔鍾意？你鍾唔鍾意？你鍾唔鍾意？
- [groans] - [呻吟]
[door slams] [關門聲]
I'm wearing your coat. 我著緊你件褸。
- Captain nemo! - Nemo船長！
- I'm freezing. - 我凍死喇。
- You are supposed to button it. - 你應該要鈕埋佢㗎。
- Oh. - 哦。
I thought the buttons were decorative. 我以為啲鈕係裝飾嚟㗎。
- Yeah, well, on you, all buttons are decorative. - 係囉，著喺你身上，所有鈕都係裝飾。
- Okay, you know what? - 好，你知唔知...
- No, no, no, you're right, as always. - 唔係，唔係，唔係，你啱，你永遠都啱。
I will buy you some long johns to wear under. 我會買啲保暖內衣俾你打底。
- [laughs] - I smell turkey. - [笑] - 我聞到火雞味。
- [gasps] my turkey. My turkey! - [吸氣] 我嘅火雞。我嘅火雞！
- Son. - Dad. - 仔。 - 老竇。
- Yeah? - Listen. - 嗯？ - 聽住。
I just-- I want you to know, 我只係...我想你知，
The work that I did and, you know, I'm still doing, 我做過嘅工作，同埋我仲做緊嘅，
It's good work, dad, 係好嘢嚟㗎，老竇，
And there's a lot of people better off-- 同埋有好多人過得更好...
- Arthur, arthur! - Arthur，Arthur！
You told me it was necessary. I believe you. 你話過係必要嘅。我信你。
- Good, because when we started this-- - 好，因為我哋開始嗰陣...
- Arthur, enough. You're already getting an "a." - Arthur，夠喇。你已經攞緊A級。
You want to work yourself down to a "b"? 你想做到變B級咩？
- All right. - 好喇。
- You see, - 你明唔明，
It was when you walked away from music, 係你放棄音樂嗰陣，
That was hard. 先係最難頂。
- No, I didn't walk-- - 唔係，我冇放棄...
Walk away from music. 放棄音樂。
I brought this to-- remember? 我帶咗呢個嚟...記得嗎？
- [gasps] yeah. - [吸氣] 係。
- Look at the back. - 睇下背面。
See, I-- - Finished it. 睇下，我... - 完成咗佢。
- Yeah. - 係。
- Well, now. - 咁，而家。
Now you must play it. 而家你要彈佢。
- No, no, no, not now. Now? - 唔係，唔係，唔係，而家唔得。而家？
- Well, when else? - 咁幾時先？
You want to wait another 30 years? 你想等多30年？
- All right, all right. - 好喇，好喇。
Now, you've got to remember, 不過你要記住，
It's a work in progress, so-- 呢個係未完成嘅作品，所以...
- Yes, it's always a work in progress. - 係，永遠都係未完成嘅作品。
Progress is what it's all made of. 進步就係由呢啲嘢組成㗎。
- All right. - 好喇。
[playing music] [彈奏音樂]
- Your fingering, it's still a nightmare. - 你嘅指法，仲係惡夢嚟。
- Dad, dad, I wrote this! - 老竇，老竇，呢個係我寫㗎！
- Yeah. Shakespeare wrote plays. - 係。莎士比亞寫過劇本。
It doesn't mean he could act. 唔代表佢識演戲。
- You're ruining a perfect moment. - 你破壞緊一個完美嘅時刻。
- I know, but you're ruining a perfectly good piece of music. - 我知，但你破壞緊一首完美嘅樂曲。
Here, let me fix the hands. 嚟，等我教返你隻手。
- There's nothing wrong. - 冇問題㗎。
- Here, like that. - 嚟，好似咁。
- No, dad, move your hand away. - 唔係，老竇，拎開你隻手。
- Eh-eh-eh! [mutters] - 喂喂喂！ [喃喃自語]
- Mmm! Mmm! - 呣！呣！
- Do not eat the stuffing out of the bowl! - 唔准就咁食碗入面嘅餡料！
- Why not? It's delicious! - 點解唔得？好好味㗎！
- I don't want your cooties! - 我唔想你啲細路菌！
Oh, hey, are you guys doing presents? 哦，喂，你哋係咪拆緊禮物？
- Not until after dinner, remember? - 食完晚餐先，記得嗎？
- I know I'm supposed to wait, but-- - 我知道要等，但...
- Claudia had one made for each of us. - Claudia整咗一個俾我哋每個人。
Check it out. - Merry christmas! 睇下。 - 聖誕快樂！
- Oh, my god! I love it! - 天啊！我好鍾意！
- Oh, wow! - Oh! I love it! - 哦，嘩！ - 哦！我好鍾意！
- It's the artifact that almost killed each of us. - 係差啲殺死我哋每個人嘅文物。
How...Thoughtful? 幾...有心？
- Just shut up and say thank you. - 收聲，講多謝就得。
- Oh, thank you, thank you. - 哦，多謝，多謝。
[air kisses] [隔空錫錫]
- This one here. - Yep, this one's Artie's. - 呢個係你嘅。 - 係，呢個係Artie嘅。
- And this one is Leena's. - 而呢個係Leena嘅。
- Oh, look, the pearl of wisdom. - 哦，睇下，智慧珍珠。
- Hello, hello, a little help, please? - 喂，喂，幫吓手得唔得？
- I got it. - 我嚟。
- Artie, izzy, soup's on! - Artie，Izzy，開飯喇！
- You know, I'm sorry - 你知唔知，我好遺憾
That you didn't get to spend christmas 你冇得同屋企人
With your family. 一齊過聖誕。
- Well, thanks. You too. - 嗯，多謝。你都係。
But you know, after watching newley, 但你知道，睇完Newley之後，
I realized I was already with someone 我發現我已經同緊一個
That I cared about, and that's what matters, right? 我關心嘅人一齊，呢個先係最重要，係咪？
- Don't you get all mushy and sweet. - 唔好搞到咁感性同甜絲絲。
- Oh, all right. - 哦，好喇。
Ophelia tetons. Bam! All right! Ophelia Tetons。砰！好喇！
Let's get this party started, shall we? 我哋開始個派對啦，好唔好？
Hello. 喂。
All right, who wants white meat 好，邊個要白肉
And who wants dark meat? - Dark, please. 邊個要黑肉？ - 黑肉，唔該。
- I want white, please. - You want white? - 我要白肉，唔該。 - 你要白肉？
- Somebody's supposed to say some words before our-- - 應該有人要講幾句嘢先至...
- Are you talking about grace? 你係咪講緊「恩典」？
We call it grace. - Yes, grace. 我哋叫呢個做恩典。 - 係，恩典。
- Yes, grace. Maybe the annoying-- - 係，恩典。可能係嗰個煩人嘅——
The annoying gentile, why don't you-- 煩人嘅外邦人，你不如——
[laughter] [笑聲]
- Fine, you want to join hands? - 好，你想唔想拖手？
- No. - Very well. - 唔想。 - 好囉。
baruch atah adonai eloheinu melech-- baruch atah adonai eloheinu melech——
- Ah! - Oh! - 啊！ - 噢！
- But--but she's doing it wrong. - 但——但佢做錯咗。
- No, I'm not. - 唔係，我冇錯。
[overlapping chatter] [嘈雜聲重疊]
- Tell her. You can't say adonai-- - 同佢講啦。你唔可以話adonai——
[overlapping chatter] [嘈雜聲重疊]
[cheering] [歡呼聲]
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